President's Message

I’m sure all of you reading this have been to a pot luck at least once in your lives. You know that great old fashioned get together, where everyone brings something to the table. Some guests will work all day on a favorite family recipe to present to the crowd that evening. Other guests with busy schedules might just swing by the grocery store and grab something, but everyone that attends still does their part. No one shows up at a pot luck empty handed, it just isn’t done.

Pot luck parties work because everyone is willing to make some sacrifice, whether great or small, to create a feast for everyone to enjoy. By everyone working together, to the best of their ability or what time will allow them, a feast is prepared.

I’m starting to think of our Rotary Club as a pot luck. We need help. While I, along with several other core members of the Club enjoy cooking, we simply cannot continue to provide the Club feast. As President, I receive emails day and night about what is going on with our Club. Why have we lost members? Who is going to help with the fundraiser? Who from next year’s board is attending the conferences, do we have a board? What committee is working to assist the DG with the “Foundation Fiesta” May 4 in Santa Maria? What’s up with the offsite? We need more service projects?

In essence we have all these functions that require everyone to bring something to the table. It’s not that we necessarily need money to make these things happen, but what we really need is talent (maybe not even that much talent) and a little bit of time from our members. We need to gain our momentum again, we need to serve. We need to get back to the basics of our Club, which entail that everyone help just a little. It doesn’t have to be that time consuming magical pot luck dish, I just need someone to go to Von’s and pick up a bagged salad!

We need members willing to serve on next year’s board, we need volunteers to help with the fundraiser (if you are interested please let me know, as I will be co-chairing the event with Cynthia), and we need members to help with the Foundation Fiesta May 4. Let’s all get involved with something, don’t be the guest that shows up empty handed.

In addition, kudos to those members that put together the Valentine’s dinner (particularly Virginia, Patrice and Bob). It was a great night, everyone had a blast and it’s amazing how much just a handful of us working together can achieve for the good of the Club.

Her Royal Highness, Your President, Heather Weare
President 2017-2018
Today's Program
February 20th
Vilma Contreras
Exec. Director of Community Partners in Caring
Last Week's Meeting

By Ron DeVue 

Classification:  Director of Clandestine Meetings

HRHYPHW called the meeting to order at 12:10 PM.  Scott Dunn provided the Invocation and Lynda Gantt led us in the Pledge of Allegiance. 

There were no visiting Rotarians and no guests of Rotarians. 


Sunshine Reporter Frank Culley had no sunshine to report.  HRHYPHW announced that Larry Letters passed away last week.  John Henning said that the funeral home informed him that the family was going to have a private service for Larry.


Jim Talbott introduced Lynda Gantt, whose program was called "Five Ways to Not Leave Your Lover."  Lynda started her presentation by telling us that men and women are different.  Most of us are a little slow and didn't realize this.  Male and female fetuses develop differently.  At 26 weeks the brains of males and females are different.  Men think using only one hemisphere of their brains, while women use both hemispheres.  Women have intense emotional memories.

Women are also better at auditory skills.  Please allow me to confirm this from my own personal experience.  Women can hear you mutter under your breath even from the next room.  Women also need verbal confirmation, whereas men are just happy to say something and don't care if anyone listens or not.   For instance, men have often gotten into trouble for not responding to their wives.  I have gotten "the look" or even the old "Answer me" or "Say something"  when I have neglected to respond to my wife. This is how I managed to deal with this.  Every time I get "the look" I  just say "Yes dear."  This works most of the time, but there are two cases that are problematic and men need to be aware of them.  The first one is when you are not paying attention and your wife gives you a choice.  She might say, "Do you want to go to an Italian restaurant or to a Mexican restaurant?"  Now the old "Yes dear" could be a problem.  But if you say "Yes dear" and she then she starts  giving you "the look" because she is waiting for the rest of your response, just say, "Wherever you want to go is just fine with me.  You always make the best choice."  That may get you on her good side. 

The other case where "Yes dear" is not the proper response is when she is trying on clothes.  If she says, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" and you are not paying attention and default to "Yes dear," you are in a whole lot of trouble.  The last time I did that I had to sleep in the garage for a week.  So when women are trying on clothes, men must pay attention.

Men are more likely to be dyslexic, have more ADHD and are more likely to have Tourette's Syndrome.  Women usually develop language skills before men.  Men are better at visualization and math skills. 

There are different types of love: there is romantic love, where the couple is infatuated with each other.  This doesn't last.  People who have sex addiction enjoy the chase, not the commitment.  There is pragmatic love where the couple has common interests that keep them together.  There is selfless love where the couple has a spiritual relationship with each other.  Attachment theory postulates that the bonding between the mother and the infant determines how you can establish relationships.  (So I guess my mother was the cause of all my problems.)  In the scale of distrust vs. intimacy the more insecure person is more likely to cheat on his or her spouse.  This type of person is anxious and always fretting about his or her relationship and is afraid that the partner will leave. 


She then gave us some statistics about marriage.  About 50% of first marriages fail.  This percentage has stayed about the same for the past 30 years.  About 70% of second marriages fail.  Of those couples where one partner has an affair, about 50% to 60%  want to reunite and make their marriage work.  There seem to be a lot more affairs now than in previous generations.  This is partly because more women are working and they have more interaction with men.  Religion helps keep couples together.  The higher the income the more likely one of them is going to have an affair.  Men who are unhappy in their marriages are more likely to have an affair.  Marriages are more likely to endure if they can resolve financial issues (because two cannot live as cheaply as one), if they have a sense of belonging, a purpose,  a connection, and if both want to have someone special in their lives.  A happy marriage leads to more longevity in life.  Couples who are honest with each other, who are willing to work on their relationship, who are willing to look at their own selves, and who have a goodness of heart are more likely to have a long relationship. 


Exemption Badge holder Danielle Martinez decided not to talk about her Dad this week, and we were very grateful.  She did talk about the Family Care Network.  In particular she spoke about a client she had several years ago.  She was 10 years old and had been in 8 foster homes.  She did well in school, but always seemed to get into trouble.  She had no parents and no other family.  At one point they placed her in an independent living program and two weeks into the program something clicked and she decided that she wanted to succeed in the program, possibly because of the mentor she had in the program.  Now she is going to San Francisco State University and doing well.  She wants to be a social worker.  Danielle also talked about the Miracle Miles for Kids, the fundraiser for the Family Care Network.  She enjoys working for the Family Care Network because she believes in the mission of the program. 


Moving on to fines and brags,  Tom and Danielle Martinez were recognized because Mason Biely received a football scholarship.  Since Yvonne Biely has not been to a meeting recently, they were instructed by HRHYPHW to tell Yvonne that she has been fined $30. 


Fred Donati was in the hardware store in Nipomo last Saturday with his popcorn eating grandson.  HRHYPHW saw them and decided to fine Fred $5 to pay for the popcorn. 



Ruben Escobedo and Michelle Shipman went to PETS last weekend.  Ruben is going to be the President of the Rotaract Club in June, but would like to find a way to remain in our club. 



Brandon McCool has taken a new job and has left the club.  We wish him well and hope that he can come back in the future.

Anyone who has any desire to be on our Board of Directors should contact Michelle. 


HRHYPHW announced that Cynthia Schur will be our President Elect Nominee.  Susan Rees suggested that Cynthia have a mixture of experienced Rotarians and new Rotarians on her Board.  To that end the often vacationing Susan offered to forgo all vacations for next year in order to serve on Cynthia's Board.  Well, maybe she didn't quite say that. 

In order to decrease the load on the President Elect we now have a committee that will be responsible for the fundraiser. 




Ken Dally talked about his wife getting up in the middle of the night and drinking his contact lens.  No fine, but since she had no problem swallowing his lens, I guess this disproves the old saying, "Her eyes were bigger than her stomach"  and it confirms that "hindsight is 20/20."


Under celebrations, the smiling Allison Borja celebrated her birthday with a surprise party.  She may be getting older, but she is also getting smarter.  She made the table pay. 


The often vacationing Susan Rees celebrated 19 years in the club.  What she likes most about the club is all the friendships she has made over the years.  She paid the club $19 out of her vacation fund. 

HRHYPHW announced that the Valentine's Dinner is on the 15th, and there are still a few spots open.  Contact Bob Frias if you are interested. 

The Day of Hope will be on April 11th. 

Master PRLS training will be at the Santa Maria Inn from February 23rd to 25th.  The club pays for this training, which was great for me personally and helped make me the wonderful human being that I am today. 


Andrew Millar was proud of our club because nobody said anything about Danielle Martinez breastfeeding her new son at a meeting.  For her next trick Danielle is going to breastfeed her son while climbing a mountain.


John Henning talked about the Green Bucket.  He thanked all those persons who brought in hygiene items for the Green Bucket.  We are collecting soaps, shampoos, conditioners, toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc. In February and March.  Then in April we will be stuffing these items into Ziploc bags, which will be given to the Good Samaritan Homeless Shelter, The Domestic Violence Solutions, and/or Catholic Charities. 


Andrew Millar told a joke and 6.4 persons laughed. 


There was $5,500,000 in the 10/18 raffle.  Wrong.  There was $1018 and 30 marbles in the 50/50 raffle.  Tom Martinez had the lucky ticket, but came up short in selecting the correct marble, which Frank Culley conveniently put in his pocket. 


The meeting was adjourned at 1:29 PM. 



Special Announcements



The Foundation Fiesta will take place May 4 in Santa Maria at the Raddison.  The District needs several people to help make this event happen.  Please let me know if you are interested.
Also, we have an offsite at "The Pad" on 02/27.  I must know who is going,   if you don't let me know, then not only will you not have a lunch, you won't have a place to sit as I need to provide tables and chairs.



The Green Bucket
In the months of February and March we will be collecting all the extra soaps, shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, toothpastes, etc. that you get at hotels.  Then in April we will have a stuffing party where we put these items in Ziploc bags and then give them to the Good Samaritan Homeless Shelter, Domestic Violence Solutions, or Catholic Charities.


Charitable Giving Application
The weekly speakers and programs are critical to a successful club!  If you have an idea or a program that you would like to see,
please contact Yvonne Biely, Program Chairman.  And as Yvonne always says,  Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.”

Upcoming Events
February 20th:  Vilma Contreras, Exec. Director of Community Partners in Caring
February 27th:  Offsite - The Pad Climbing Gym
March 6th:  Judge Jed Beebe, Santa Maria Superior Court
April 3rd:  Connie Logeman "Human Trafficking"
        Invocation                                                                                 Tickets              
        Carlie Engel                                                                            Cody Miller    
         Pledge                                                                                      Greeter
        Lynda Gantt                                                                              Andrew Millar
Board and Committee Members
Heather Weare - President
Jason Diani - Past President

Michelle Shipman - President Elect
Frank Culley - Secretary
Rick Ellison - Treasurer
Open - Membership
Open - President Elect Nominee
Andrew Millar - Club Service
Danielle Martinez - Youth Services
Virginia Souza/ - International Service
Patrice Mosby- Community Service
Brandon McCool/Ruben Escobedo - Vocational Service
Tom Martinez -"TRF" Found. Chair
Ron Nanning - Membership "Induction"
Susan Rees/John Henning - Membership "Orientation"
Yvonne Biely - Programs
Frank Culley - Website
TBD   - Sargeant At Arms
Frank Culley - Sunshine Reporter
Michelle Shipman - Fundraiser Chair
TBD - Publicity
TBD - Historian
Blanche Fugate - Awards Chair
John Henning - Rotator Editor
Club Members
Yvonne Biely                                       Ron Nanning
Barb Blanchard                                   Jenifer Napoli
Allison Borja                                       Camille O'Brien
Terrilee Coleman                                 Fred Pratt
Frank Culley                                       George Railey
Ken Dally                                            Susan Rees
Jason Diani                                         Tom Ross
Fred Donati                                         Fred Sanders
Scott Dunn                                          Cynthia Schur
Rick Ellison                                          Michelle Shipman
Ruben Escobedo                                   Virginia Perry Souza
Carl Engel                                            Jim Talbott
Karen Fothergill                                    Jason Telander
Bob Frias                                             Heather Weare
Blanche Fugate                                    
Lynda Gantt                                       
Diane Harb
Rick Haydon
Judy Hearn                                           HONORARY MEMBERS
John Henning                                       
Hans Kardel, Jr.                                      Hardy Hearn
Peter Lopez                                            Alice Patino
Danielle Martinez                                   
Tom Martinez
Brandon McCool
Cynthia McKellar
Andrew Millar                                       VISITING ROTARIANS
Cody Miller
Robert Miller                                         Jo Grande - Hawaii
Laura Mohajer
Patrice Mosby                                       LEAVE OF ABSENCE
Greg Muscio
Central Coast Rotary Clubs
6:00 PM Santa Maria South
The Historic Santa Maria Inn
12:00 PM San Luis Obispo
Madonna Inn
7:00 AM SLO DayBreak
Et Viola on Los Osos Valley Rd.
Cambria Sunrise Centennial
Cambria Cafe
7:15 AM Solvang Breakfast
Alisal River Grill
Ian McPhee's
12:00 PM The Rotary Club of Santa Maria
The Historic Santa Maria Inn
Pismo Beach/5 Cities
Ventana Grill at Shorecliff ZLodge
Morro Bay
The Morro Bay Golf Course
7:00 AM Grover Beach
Mission Inn, Pismo
Cypress Ridge
Paso Robles Sunrise
Paso Robles Golf Course
12:00 PM Atascadero
Atascadero Lake Pavillion
San Luis Obispo de Tolosa
Madonna Inn
12:10 PM Santa Ynez Valley
Santa Ynez Valley Marriott
6:00 PM Lompoc Rotary Club
Lompoc Embassy Suites
7:00 AM Santa Maria Breakfast
The Historic Santa Maria Inn
12:00 PM Paso Robles
Paso Robles Inn Ballroom
Arroyo Grande
Rotary Bandstand
Marriott Buellton
6:45 AM Vandenberg Village
Village Country Club
7:00 AM Los Osos
Sea Pines Golf Course
12:00 PM Cambria
Cambria Pines Lodge
To visit our website select the link:  http://www.rotaryclubof
To visit District 5240's website select the link:
Please submit any Rotator contributions to John Henning
Website contributions and Make-Ups to Frank Culley
Russell Hampton
National Awards Services Inc.